True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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