how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize
