I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
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But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
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Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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