I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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