Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
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I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
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