Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.