I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Randomize
