Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
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he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
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i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
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