sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
