sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Randomize
