Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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