And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
