? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Randomize
