we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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