And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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