clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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