Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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