sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
We have started to decorate penises.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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