hotel room ftw
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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