What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
