YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
soo... how was my night?
Randomize
