I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
