we have pet lesbian snakes
mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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