a queef is a wish your heart makes.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize