butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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