my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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