She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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