The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Pants are for mortals
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
