Got a toothbrush?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
