dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
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