There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize