I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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