i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
