One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize