i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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