my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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