I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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