Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
