Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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