I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
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