Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
He better not be in your backpack
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
