You're so nebulous sometimes
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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