Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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