So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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