We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Randomize
