Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
