Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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