Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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