He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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