Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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