I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
