I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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