I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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