please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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