party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
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I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
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How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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