We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize
