I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
