so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I know her cup size but not her name....
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