i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
