Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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