Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
