check it out our google latitudes are spooning
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
