you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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