so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
