Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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