i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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