you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
